A Reader’s Question:
What’s up? I’ve been with my girl for a year now and I’m very displeased with our sex life... or lack thereof. We only have sex once a week, if that. When we finally do it, its horrible. All she does is lay there. She’s very inexperienced when it comes to sex, which is actually a good thing although sometimes I wish she had a little more “skills”. I’m actually the second person that she’s been with.
I try to get my girlfriend to try different things to spice up our sex life but she just isn't interested in experimenting. My question to you is, am I doing something wrong or are my requests unfair or unreasonable? I think I have a right to enjoy having sex with my woman. I love my girl and would never want to step out on her but the temptation is there. What can be done?
My Advice:
First, let me commend you for being a stand up guy and remaining faithful to your relationship. When faced with similar circumstances, many men turn to the comfort of other women to satisfy their sexual appetite.
You need to keep in mind that all women are different. The things that arouse one woman may not arouse another woman. Have you tried talking to your girlfriend about things that could possibly improve your sex life? Maybe she’s willing to experiment with new things but is just too shy to bring it up.
Another thing to consider would be your girlfriends religious beliefs. The Bible teaches us that sex before marriage is wrong. If your girlfriend shares these beliefs, she could feel very guilty after having sex with you, which may cause her not to be as into it as you would like. If this is the case, then you need to be respectful of her beliefs. The guilt that she may be feeling may be overwhelming and she may not know how to talk to you about this subject because she’s not sure how you feel about it. This is exactly why good communication is essential in all relationships.
As far as your girlfriend being inexperienced is concerned, you should be grateful because many men have to deal with the fact that their girlfriend was promiscuous in college and slept with multiple guys. My advice to you would be to continue to be faithful, understanding and respectful in your relationship.
Too many couples place too much emphasis on their sex life. There are way more important things to focus on in a relationship. If you really care about one another, your sex life or lackthereof should never be a reason to be unfaithful.
Hopefully, I’ve shed some light on this subject for you.
What’s up? I’ve been with my girl for a year now and I’m very displeased with our sex life... or lack thereof. We only have sex once a week, if that. When we finally do it, its horrible. All she does is lay there. She’s very inexperienced when it comes to sex, which is actually a good thing although sometimes I wish she had a little more “skills”. I’m actually the second person that she’s been with.
I try to get my girlfriend to try different things to spice up our sex life but she just isn't interested in experimenting. My question to you is, am I doing something wrong or are my requests unfair or unreasonable? I think I have a right to enjoy having sex with my woman. I love my girl and would never want to step out on her but the temptation is there. What can be done?
My Advice:
First, let me commend you for being a stand up guy and remaining faithful to your relationship. When faced with similar circumstances, many men turn to the comfort of other women to satisfy their sexual appetite.
You need to keep in mind that all women are different. The things that arouse one woman may not arouse another woman. Have you tried talking to your girlfriend about things that could possibly improve your sex life? Maybe she’s willing to experiment with new things but is just too shy to bring it up.
Another thing to consider would be your girlfriends religious beliefs. The Bible teaches us that sex before marriage is wrong. If your girlfriend shares these beliefs, she could feel very guilty after having sex with you, which may cause her not to be as into it as you would like. If this is the case, then you need to be respectful of her beliefs. The guilt that she may be feeling may be overwhelming and she may not know how to talk to you about this subject because she’s not sure how you feel about it. This is exactly why good communication is essential in all relationships.
As far as your girlfriend being inexperienced is concerned, you should be grateful because many men have to deal with the fact that their girlfriend was promiscuous in college and slept with multiple guys. My advice to you would be to continue to be faithful, understanding and respectful in your relationship.
Too many couples place too much emphasis on their sex life. There are way more important things to focus on in a relationship. If you really care about one another, your sex life or lackthereof should never be a reason to be unfaithful.
Hopefully, I’ve shed some light on this subject for you.
“Ask Dedan” Sex, Dating & Relationships- Volume I available now at: www.dedantolbert.com
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