Literary Review- Black People: For Entertainment Purposes ONLY

Who would have thought that there was a book out there that gave a powerful message and at the same time gave you action, love, conspiracy and murder? Of course there are plenty of books out there that deliver but only a few deliver like, Black People: For Entertainment Purposes Only.

W. Ivan Wright’s, Black People: For Entertainment Purposes Only is an compelling tale about a successful African American author named Jurney who delivers a book with the same title and becomes one of the most hated people amongst the people he wrote it for: African Americans. Although he has tried to explain what the meaning and the purpose behind his book, it doesn’t stop a crazed veteran named Cephas from trying to kill him. Also to add to the list of drama, he learns that he has a daughter from a past relationship and the mother is trying to get in his pockets.

Although the book had one of the most boring openings, I continued to read and begin to really enjoy the message that all blacks are interested in being or acting like basketball players or rappers. I also appreciated the mild action that did not leave you thinking of blood, guts and gore.

If you like a book that starts off slow but builds to a book of great meaning and purpose then this is the book for you. W. Ivan Wright will truly deliver in the end.

Agasa Elitou-Reviewer

Literary Review- Harlem Heat by 50 Cent and Mark Anthony

If you like Bonny and Clyde or Thelma and Louise then you’ll like Harlem Heat. This is a story about two women Roxy Reynolds and her daughter Chyna who run a gun trafficking ring. These women take charge and rule the streets all on their own but with a price to pay.

Roxy a young mother and her daughter Chyna who is following in her footsteps are real hustlers. They have done it all from exotic dancing to prostitution, and now they are the leaders of a successful gun-trafficing ring. Roxy had been a member of a powerful gang for many years before most of the members were incarcerated many years ago. She gained plenty of experience as a hustler of all trades and she has taught her daughter Chyna everything that she knows especially loyalty and keeping her mouth shut. Although the business was a success, things began to get shaky when old-time gangster Panama Pete is released from prison and has to stay with the Reynold's women.

Chyna is given a tip that Panama Pete is no good and that he has broken one of the major laws of the streets— don’t snitch. It is being said that he is working as an agent for the cops. When Chyna learns this information, she decides to watch his actions to be sure that what she hears is not just bad wax in the ears. When suspicious acts begin to unravel including the rape of Chyna and the theft of all the money that the women had to keep her gun clients happy is stolen by a few thugs, Chyna confronts her mother and tells her that she is being played by her long time friend and things get heated.

Roxy and Chyna are forced to get their money back in a way neither of them expected and now there are cops and gangsters chasing them. Will they manage to get away? Will they be able to keep their heads? Will one of them die?

Filled with heart racing action, Harlem Heat is a one-day reader that you never want to put down. Mark Anthony caught my attention with this book and I hope that there is a Harlem Heat 2.

Agasa Elitou- Book Reviewer

The Truth About Grant Money and Businesses

Urban legends, old wives tales, community myths, misinformation, and misconceptions – no matter what you call it – they continue to plague the community.

We've all seen the headlines: "Millions in free government money for your business." Late-night infomercials, reference guides and websites promote the availability of grant money to entrepreneurs for starting and expanding businesses. Does it sound too good to be true? Well, it is! Your small business resource, the U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA) (http://www.sba.gov/), has valuable information to help turn your entrepreneurial dream into a thriving new business.

Would-be entrepreneurs often ask the Small Business Administration “Where can I get find grants to start a business?” And, sadly, some of these individuals pay big money to attend business financing seminars that travel from city to city focusing on “free” government money for their business. All you have to do is pay these folks up front and they will fill out some paperwork for you to apply for these “grants.”

The trouble is the rare few grants that are available are so highly specialized in research fields that the odds of getting them are astronomical. In other words, it’s a dead end. Forget about government grants to start a new business. It won’t happen.

The truth is that federal and state governments do not provide grants for starting and expanding small businesses.

The Small Business Administration or banks will not give money to anyone unless they meet a certain criteria. They have several lending programs, which makes it easier for a small business to borrow money. SBA administers these three separate, but equally important loan programs: 1) The 7A Loan Guarantee Program, 2) The SBA Low-Document Program, and 3) SBS 504.

To apply for an SBA loan, you need to visit your local participating bank or lending institution. General lending criteria for the Small Business Administration include: 1) outstanding credit history (FICO/Credit Score of over 700), 2) cash flow adequate to service the debt, 3) collateral, 4) equity, 5) character, and 6) experience.

Banks do give out loans, but they typically aren’t a good source for new companies unless you have built a relationship with the banks.

The four main types of loans that banks offer are: 1) Installment loans, on which the business makes monthly payments over a certain number of years, 2) Term Loans, with which the entire loan is paid off after a predetermined term (usually one, two, or five years), 3) Asset-based loans, which might be for inventory or equipment, and 4) Revolving lines of credit, which businesses can draw upon when cash is low and then pay off when cash flow is high.

Remember that 90% of all start-up money for a business comes from private sources such as moonlighting jobs, working part time, divorce settlements, child support payments, yearly income tax returns, 401K’s and other private and government pensions. Over 25% of all companies are started with less than $5000.

Raising money for your company is hard work and it can be completed only with careful planning and research. And again, don’t wait around on grant money to start your business.

Successful steps to opening a business is listed at (www.angelspress.com/businesslevels.html) Top business mistakes are listed at (http://www.angelspress.com/10topbusinessmistakes.html).

Cathy Harris (http://www.cathyharrisspeaks.com/) is a motivational speaker and business consultant.

Copyright © 2007. Cathy Harris. All Rights Reserved

ASK DEDAN

A Reader’s Question:
What’s up? I’ve been with my girl for a year now and I’m very displeased with our sex life... or lack thereof. We only have sex once a week, if that. When we finally do it, its horrible. All she does is lay there. She’s very inexperienced when it comes to sex, which is actually a good thing although sometimes I wish she had a little more “skills”. I’m actually the second person that she’s been with.
I try to get my girlfriend to try different things to spice up our sex life but she just isn't interested in experimenting. My question to you is, am I doing something wrong or are my requests unfair or unreasonable? I think I have a right to enjoy having sex with my woman. I love my girl and would never want to step out on her but the temptation is there. What can be done?

My Advice:

First, let me commend you for being a stand up guy and remaining faithful to your relationship. When faced with similar circumstances, many men turn to the comfort of other women to satisfy their sexual appetite.
You need to keep in mind that all women are different. The things that arouse one woman may not arouse another woman. Have you tried talking to your girlfriend about things that could possibly improve your sex life? Maybe she’s willing to experiment with new things but is just too shy to bring it up.
Another thing to consider would be your girlfriends religious beliefs. The Bible teaches us that sex before marriage is wrong. If your girlfriend shares these beliefs, she could feel very guilty after having sex with you, which may cause her not to be as into it as you would like. If this is the case, then you need to be respectful of her beliefs. The guilt that she may be feeling may be overwhelming and she may not know how to talk to you about this subject because she’s not sure how you feel about it. This is exactly why good communication is essential in all relationships.
As far as your girlfriend being inexperienced is concerned, you should be grateful because many men have to deal with the fact that their girlfriend was promiscuous in college and slept with multiple guys. My advice to you would be to continue to be faithful, understanding and respectful in your relationship.
Too many couples place too much emphasis on their sex life. There are way more important things to focus on in a relationship. If you really care about one another, your sex life or lackthereof should never be a reason to be unfaithful.

Hopefully, I’ve shed some light on this subject for you.

“Ask Dedan” Sex, Dating & Relationships- Volume I available now at: www.dedantolbert.com

The Sensationnel Road to $25,000

Have you ever heard the saying “beauty comes with a price”? Well, let me tell you there was a price to pay for the contestants in the Sensationnel Hair Idol Model Search. There was a lot of practice, getting pictures taken; getting your hair done, getting make-up before and during the big day arrived at the Convention Center in Philadelphia, PA.

I was thankful for the opportunity to be a part of this great event that was brought to Philly by the infamous Glynn Jackson of the Glynn Jackson Agency and Sensationnel Hair. Glynn Jackson, also known as the founder of the largest hair shows in the country, including the Golden Scissor Awards was a great coach to all of the models. At every practice along with Cyndi Lane of Iconz Models, we had to look good. Our walks had to show that we were going to serve the runway and we did.

The day before the actual event, we had to get prepared for the Press Party that took place at the World Live Café which included entertainment and a brief conference that explained the purpose of the Sensationnel Hair Idol Model Search which is to recognize the winner in each and every woman. There were women of various shapes and sizes that participated in the event. There were also young women who were working mothers that received recognition for their efforts to stay strong and beautiful (inside and out) during their struggles with hardship. These women received wonderful makeovers and gifts from various sponsors.

The night was filled with wonderful music which included the featured appearance of Carol Riddick. She is an amazing talent and wow, can she sing. She swept everyone away with her jazzy and soulful song “Brown Eyed Girl”. After Ms. Riddick’s performance, Mr. Glynn Jackson called all of the contestants to the stage so that they could introduce themselves to the awaiting people who would be seeing us model at the hair show which included press and photographers so that they could get good pictures (kind of a before and after). Professional photographer for Infinite MagaZine (and my dad) Aalim Elitou got fantastic shots of me and the other models (thanks Nux).

Personally, I had the pleasure of meeting Nikki Tucker, stylist to Alicia Keys. She was there to teach stylists some of the new trends that would be set for the year to come. She was so nice and I look forward to meeting up with her again in the future.

Near the close of the evening, the models and I danced and had a great time. I was soon ready to go home because I knew that I had a long day ahead of me and tomorrow was going to start very early.

The next day; the big day; the day that I had been waiting for finally arrived. At ten in the morning I was ready to have my makeup done and that was a long wait because there were more than forty ladies waiting to get theirs done as well. While I was waiting to get my make-up done, I got the chance to talk to some of the contestants. Karita and Ashley my Iconz sisters asked me if I was nervous. I thought about it and I told them, “No, I am ready and very excited.” I had been waiting for this day to come so nervousness just never set in.
After my makeup was applied I looked in the mirrors and almost didn’t recognize myself. I had never had makeup done before and I looked so different. I was definitely ready now to serve the runway. “You look so nice,” said Kerry Scott of Fatboy Hype. I begin to practice with runway coach for Fat Boy and Tarantula designer Kevin Parker who has always been a support.
Hair was simple and easy for me because I was told to wear it wild and big and all that took was for me to tease it out and it looked fabulous. I was really impressed with some of the creativity that was surrounding me. There were people transforming right before my eyes. There were styles that were unique and wild and some that were simple and classy but nevertheless they all made a statement. I think that some of the fantasy styles were my favorite.

When the doors opened at 6:00 pm the downstairs began to fill up with family, friends, and media. I think that people with daughters, sisters, mothers, etc were more nervous and excited for us than we were. Come on!!! This was only the hottest hair show in Philly. Not to mention someone was going to win $3,000 and then be on their way to winning $25,000. The place was jammed packed in fifteen minutes and the show was soon to begin, on time.

This was my first hair show and I was not aware of what I was going to see. At the hair shows there is a lot of entertainment from the stylists and the models in which some dance and some walk the runway. The best of the night was the skit of women who were stealing a Sensationnel wig, the women who were robotic puppets (they really did it up), and the wild Barbie dolls that broke out of their boxes. I loved it.
The excitement backstage was also interesting because people had to change into their costumes as fast as possible so that they could appear on stage again. It was not long before we had to come out and be judged. It really all began to set in with me that I may win. What would happen next? Who will win? How will I do?

All the girls that went before seemed to be focused on their walk and they did their best. Mr. Jackson called “Contestant 24” which was me and everyone clapped. I wore a beautiful mint green dress that looked like it was straight out of Vogue Magazine. I did my pose and walked my walk to the T. The runway seemed to be so long and it seemed to last forever. I was not able to hear anything around me— not the sound of the music, not the sound of cheering, nothing. When I got down the steps of the stage I could hear again. When I got backstage, I walked up to a girl and asked, “How do you think you did?” She replied, “I am so sad that I am about to cry. I think I did a bad job”. However, before she could finish another girl said, “you did well” and that lifted the girl’s spirit.

The moment of truth was here and someone was going to get 1st, 2nd and 3rd place. All the models called to the stage for the finale walk. Before Glynn Jackson called the 10 finalists, he said that five women would be coming with him to Washington, DC to participate in another event. I was one of the five finalists invited to go to DC. I was very happy. When everyone got to the back of the stage Glynn Jackson called the 10 finalists and everyone went crazy and began screaming. They seemed to be pleased with the outcome. Contestant 60 came in third place winning $500, Contestant 21 in second place winning $1,500, and Contestant 56 won the grand prize $3,000. All three of them will be going to DC to finish the contest in November in order to win $25,000 in cash and prizes.

I had a wonderful time and it was a great experience. I want to thank Glynn Jackson and his team for all of their support, Cyndi Lane, and most importantly my parents for always being there for me.

Can’t wait to talk about next year, but in the meantime check out the images.

Share the love...

Tweety Elitou

Literature Review- Kick Back with Ida B.

Ida B. (also known as Uptown Dreams) is one of Karen Q. Miller’s best books ever!

Ida B. is a mind-gripping, true to life novel about Brenda Carver, a young unwed mother who wished to pursue a career as a writer. Hot and sassy Rosa Rivera who has dreams of becoming a major celebrity, and Sharif Goldsby a young black activist who lives to protect his people and his privacy, especially his life as a homosexual.

In Harlem life has always been vivid in the Ida B. complex but things become shaded when three deaths occur and causes the people of Ida B. to come together and help those in need.

As Brenda and her mother work together to keep things afloat, they are shocked by a rumor that after more than twenty years, the Ida B. will be closed and the people will have to find a new place to live. The Ida B. community goes to their gracious, humble and most respected activist Sharif to get to the bottom of the rumors but in the midst of getting an answer another death occurs and the entire building in devastated.

Who could have done such a horrendous act? Did it happen in the building? Was it someone in the building? Were there any witnesses? Those were the questions that continued to rock the boat giving it a "whodunit" mystery feel.

What makes this book a great read is the amount of unity throughout the book. No matter what goes on, the people of Ida B. stick together. You tend to forget that these are people who just live in the same building because they are so much like family. It takes you back to a time when people would throw rent parties for the tenants that needed help; when communities would come together and clean the neighborhoods; when a child would get in trouble with everyone on the block before getting home to their parents. A village helping the only way it could to keep the people alive and safe from harm.

The other characters in the book were way familiar from the nosy neighbor Ms. Jackie who knew the business of everyone in the building and spread rumors. The bad boy friend Vincent who was always a stone throw away from doing hard time, and Mrs. Marcie, the older woman who kept people in check. You could love them or hate them, but they laid the bricks in building the story Ida B.

If you have this book, read it again and reminisce with Brenda and her Ida B. family. If you never read it, believe it when we say that you will never read a book more focused on togetherness than Ida B.

Get ready for Karen's soon to be released book, "Passin."

Heather Elitou-Reviewer

Harlem Book Fair 2007

While we were on a business trip in one of our favorite cities, we went to the Harlem Book Fair in NY.

We ran into a few of our closest friends. Check out the images below:

Who is the Grandfather of Hip Hop?

Hip Hop has been around as an artistic expression for a long time however most people are clueless as to how long since documentation and records have been misconstrued. It is rarely mentioned that the first DJ/MC to make rhyme a hip and cool thing was a man named Doug “Jocko” Henderson, Sr. born March 8, 1918 in Baltimore and died July 15, 2000. Broadcast Pioneers member Gerry Wilkinson (former WDAS Operations Manager) said, "Jocko had one of the most unique and pleasant voices in the industry. He was everything legends are made of. He had class and elegance." "Hello, Daddy-O and Mommy-O, This is Jocko,” was all the rage in Philadelphia and later in New York City. He was known for rhyming words like, "eee-tiddlee-yock, this is the Jock,” or "oo-papa-doo, how do you do.” Later oo-papa-doo turned into “hip, hop, a hippy to the hip hip hop you don’t stop” which came from the Sugar Hill Gang, and the name Hip Hop stuck although it was not the original name.

In the July 2007 issue of Vibe Magazine, Polow Da Don’s stated, “I don’t feel like I need to appease the Hip Hop audience. I don’t owe them anything”. Again, the term Hip Hop is not the original name... it was originally called “Rhythm Talk”. As with all art, the actual founders and contributors are soon forgotten as some of the newcomers try not to acknowledge the contributions of the past because they were not there in the beginning, and therefore do not have the fond memories and experiences shared during those days.

Now it is being said that Hip Hop is dead or better yet, the spirit of Hip Hop is dead which is most likely because of the new additions to Hip Hop who seem more interested in making money than making music. Back in the day, when dudes like the Treacherous Three with LA, Sunshine, and Kool Mo Dee made “Body Rock” to rock music and the Sugar Hill Gang made one of their raps using a funky beat and electric guitar, it was still considered Hip Hop or Rhythm Talk. Run Dee MC made quite a few of their raps using rock music and they were all hot. The block parties were always on fire making memories that would last forever. It did not matter what kind of music was used to rap it was still rap.

Of course that was before rap was accepted by the big bosses of the music industry. The themes of Hip Hop were boisterous and bold, however most of them had a message. Back then, none of them talked of harming anyone but rather moving the crowd. Rakim redefined MC as “Move the Crowd” and it was on.
It was hoped that Hip Hop or Rap would lose it’s momentum but it was born in determination and creativity. Jocko held down multiple DJing jobs in both Philly and New York. He was also a music promoter and taught children about life through music. Jocko made records of himself teaching our youth everything from math to American history with rap lyrics. He also made mixed albums of talents that he had featured on his show called Jocko's Show Stoppers that contained many of the recordings he played on the air, including two narrations and his own Album called Rhythm Talk. He set up a studio in his basement where he taped the New York programs while adding Boston, St. Louis, Detriot and Miami.
As described he was quite an entrepreneur and being an entrepreneur is one of the key elements of Hip Hop which led to another element that was very important to the growing popularity of the music: to become a teacher and give back to the community through music and lyrical skills. Please refer to great artist like KRS-One.

To make the point clear, when the pioneers of rap were forgotten the spirit and accomplishments of the skill were forgotten as well. It is no different than the Doo Wop days when people like Jerry Blavit claimed that he was a part of the era and helped foster the careers of some of the well known entertainers, but according to some Doo Wop DJ’s he was too young to be involved.
Have you ever noticed that the people who gave birth to Doo Wop aren’t making money from the music that they created? If you were to do some research, you will find that the people who made money from the music are those who were once against the new sound that the teenagers loved. It is no different with Hip Hop. The Doo Wop youth are now the cooperate junkies that once opposed Hip Hop and were never true to the cause, allowing all kinds of lyrics to be produced, packaged and sold to our youth. But no matter how we look at it, it is always the fans who ultimately decide whether or not an artist will eat and be continuously played on the airwaves and the internet.

So Polow got it twisted— he does owe fans something because if the fans support his music and he is eating from it, then a little gratitude would be nice.

What do you think? Do you have something to add? Drop me a comment and let me know.

Aalim Elitou

What’s Up with Britain?

So they say that the British media is under a lot of pressure about faking contests thrown on its broadcasts and reporting bogus news. This is reminiscent of the whole Milli Vanilli episode don’t you think? What is it with the Brits? I love the BBC News, but damn, do we have to weed out the info that they are dishing out double time. It seems as if the concept of quality (no matter what it is) has become a thing of the past. Whatever happened to the days of good, honest, and decent work?

What’s really scary is that this fake journalism comes from what is being called paid propagandists who work for the UK government. Normally they work in a little known outfit with the acronym BFBS, which stands for British Forces Broadcasting Service. They are kind of like the men in black of broadcasting and media. Our country and its government are also accused of the same hoax both within and without her boarders. Is that interesting?

The Brits just recently began flooding the U.S. airwaves with talent contests/reality shows and at least once or twice many people have suggested that it was rigged. Think about it...

In these days and times what is really real? Has the world gotten so hollow that nothing really matters and anything goes? Do you want to have propaganda fed to you as news? Or rigged contest as entertainment?

Leave a comment and let us know what you think.

Aalim Elitou

Literary Review- Derelict by 50 Cent and Relentless Aaron

I have read a lot of books— some good and some bad. I enjoy books that stay focused because it keeps my interests. This brings me to my review of Derelict written by 50 Cent and Relentless Aaron. I was satisfied with the first two books in the G-Unit Series for the year 2007, but this one left me blank.

Derelict is about a convict named Jamel who went to jail for writing faulty checks. While serving his time, he slowly starts to make moves on a psychologist he thinks is sexy in the beginning, but he shows in the end how he truly felt about her, especially with the stories that he shares with his jail mates Box, Roy, and Twan.

Jamel talks about his two girlfriends Deadra and JoJo and his two kids throughout the story. He has a few pen pals that are female convicts and of course Dr. Kay the psychologist—he is a true pimp with nothing at all.
Dr. Kay falls for Jamel hard and they have relations nearing the end of the book. When Jamel finally gets out of jail, his friend Troy picks him up and they stop at a motel. Jamel supposedly puts his pimp down to scare Dr. Kay off, but his actions only turn her on and there is no escaping her clutches.
Jamel wants to surprise his women so he and Troy sit in a truck and wait for the women to get home. While waiting, Troy tells Jamel to feel under the seat. To Jamel’s discomfort he feels a M-16 assault rifle which freaks him out because he does not want to do another bid, but Troy is on a campaign to kill Mac a famous rapper who was responsible for putting Troy on life support six years earlier.

I am truly hoping that there is a part two to this book because I was left in a total daze with too many questions about what the hell is happening. What kept me reading the book was that I was expecting him to get out of jail and take revenge on someone. What happened to the probation officer that was supposed to be watching Jamel’s every move? Who was the mysterious person that had and agenda of his own and planned to take Jamel down at any price? None of this happened!!! Jamel stayed in jail most of the time which began to get boring, and it was the last 5 or 6 pages that the caged bird was free. He got out of jail only to dump Dr. Kay and sit in a truck.

The back of the book was much more interesting then the content. My view would totally change if there is a part two to this book. Hopefully this is what 50 Cent and Relentless Aaron have in mind.

Share your thoughts...

Agasa Elitou

Literary Review- Blow by 50 Cent and Kwan

Many authors write about the ins and outs of street life but there are very few that give the impression that they write from experience. Blow is one of those few. From beginning to end whether you were a hustler or knew the life of hustlers, 50 Cent and Kwan draw you in with the realism of the streets in your face.

Blow is a gripping tale about fours hustlers— Prince, Killa-E, Daddy-O, and Danny who work for the neighborhood drug lord Diego on the streets of Harlem. Prince and his crew run the projects selling crack and cocaine and they’re good at it: they work well together, they make good money, and with the help of Sticks and Stone, two crazy killers, they get the respect that most people take years to achieve. After a while they start to want more— more money, more respect, better product to sell, and larger territory so they go to Diego and ask him for their own spot. Prince feels that since he was good at what he did then he should move up, but Diego rejects him.
When Prince meets a heroin connect, they get what they wish for but they are also plagued with greater enemies and bigger problems. The tables turn when Diego now wants in on the deal that Prince has made, and with the shoe being on the other foot, Prince declines. Of course this means war and Diego along with his killer Manny are looking to settle the score. In addition, there is a traitor in the mist and the police are on their backs, and with Diego at their fronts they’re trapped and blood spills.

This is a straight in your face book that keeps its focus with not too many twist and turns that leave you confused. Although the ending was kind of expected any other ending would have made the book seem unreal. Blow is a good book to read if you like urban street fiction and if you don’t, read it anyway because you might be surprised and agree with me.

Share your thoughts...

Agasa Elitou- Reviewer

ASK DEDAN- When Does No Really Mean No?

Question:

I have a question about a situation that I am currently in. I have been seeing this girl for a month now and we are really feeling each other. We always have good conversations on the phone and we have gone to the movies, out to eat, walked in the park etc.

Everything was cool until the other night when things got a little out of control. We were watching a movie and one thing lead to another. The next thing I knew both of our clothes were off. We have come close to having sex before but nothing like this.

Since it seemed like it was about to go down, I went for the condom that was in my wallet. Even though she was looking right at me, she asked me what I was doing. At first I smiled, and then just ignored her. We went back to kissing and I put on the condom. I tried to put it in but she stopped me and told me not to put it in. I was a little frustrated but I respected her wishes and backed off. I start to get up but she pulled me back down on top of her. To make a long story short, after a few more minutes of kissing and touching, I tried to put it in again and this time she let me.We were doing it and all of a sudden, she starts trippin and tells me to get off her. She starts crying saying that I raped her and that she told me to stop. She threatened to call the police and tells me to leave.

I got my stuff and left. My question to you is based on my version of the story was I wrong for my actions, in your opinion, did I rape her or was she just playing games?

My Advice:

You really need to be careful in situations where sex is involved. Your friend could have easily pressed charges against you and there would have been nothing you could have done about it. The thing about rape is that its her word against your word and the jury usually tends to believe the woman.In your defense, many women play games where they say no when they really mean yes. For some reason, women think that its cute or sexy to tease men with sex, so when the time comes when they really mean no, many men do not take them seriously.

My advice to you would be to always play it safe when a woman says no. Just stop whatever it is that you are doing and remove yourself from the situation. Rape is a serious charge and no woman is worth losing your freedom over.

Anyone who reads my column on a regular basis knows that I keep it real and call it like I see it, whether the man or the woman is right.In your situation, I do not see you as being wrong. Your girl sat there and watched you go into your wallet to get the condom and then put it on. If she was not cool with what was about to go down, that would have been the time to tell you to stop. Instead, she waited until you were actually inside of her to say no.

A good rule of thumb for all relationships is to have good communication with each other. When dating someone, you need to be fully aware of their views regarding sex. Some women make it known that they want to wait until marriage to be intimate. Other women say they have to be in a committed relationship. And then there are the women who let you know that its going down right after you get home from TGI Fridays on thefirst date.

Normally, if a woman is willing to sleep with you, she makes it known in one form or another. But in the event that she does not make her intentions clear, you need to realize that no always means no. Never assume that her no means yes or maybe. A split second could change your life forever. Just ask Mike Tyson.

Hopefully, I shed some light on this subject for you.

Check out Dedan at: http://www.dedantolbert.com/

New book Ask Dedan: Sex, Dating &>Relationships - Volume I (available July 27th).

Miasha the Writing Diva does it Again with her Third Novel Mommy's Angel

Don’t be fooled by what you see. Miasha is truly fabulous; a hair is never out of place and she is more than a pretty face. Although you may question whether she is approachable, believe us when we say that Miasha is one of the realest people that you will ever meet. She always expresses her appreciation to those that have shown her support. Yes, she is glamorous from head to toe, but shallow she is not. This sistah is always open to share her story of success and how she beat the odds, not allowing society to place a label on her life and condemning her to hardship which could have easily been her fate. Miasha is truly a realest and a go-getta that is proving she has what it takes to be at the top with her third book that has been released only a year after her first two books. Furthermore, she has become the face of Infinite Mag for our one year anniversary.

Her latest book Mommy’s Angel is yet another controversial book to hit the shelves. Mommy’s Angel is set in Brooklyn, NY and based on a young girl named Angel who rapidly becomes a woman after her mother’s breakdown over her son’s death which causes her to turn to drugs in order to ease her pain. Angel then realizes that it all up to her to take care of herself and younger siblings so she turns to a family friend for help. The friend then gives her a number that is suppose to be a fast way out of her poor condition but she then realizes that although the real world spins at a rate not felt by man, she is now caught in the gravity of a fast life that never slows down.

What makes this book so profound is that Miasha has loosely based it on aspects of her life growing up with parents that were addicted to drugs. We had the opportunity to chat with Miasha about her dynamic novel and how it affected her life and others.

Last year you dropped 2 books Secret Society and Dairy of a Mistress. What have you been up to this year?
My latest novel was just released titled, Mommy’s Angel. I’ve been busy promoting it and trying to run home the message in the book.

Tell us about you latest novel Mommy’s Angel.
Mommy’s Angel is about fifteen-year-old Angel’s struggle to survive after her older brother is killed and her mom becomes addicted to heroin. It’s a powerful story about addiction and what it does to the family. It’s a tragedy to the reader but triumph to the character.

Where did you get your inspiration for this book?
A lot of it derived from the emotions and mentality I had growing up with both of my parents addicted to drugs. I also found inspiration in other young people who I’ve come encounter with who suffer the same plight.

Why did you decide to write on the issues of drugs, the fast life, death and deceit?
Well, drug addiction is such a universal subject. It affects every household worldwide in one way or another. And with it being such a driving force in the production of self-destructive youth, I had to write about it. So many people are trying to figure out why our children are so violent and socially withdrawn. A lot of it has to do with what they’ve seen and been through having parents who were or still are addicts. As far as the fast life, death, and deceit, those all come with the territory.

This book is different then you’re other novels, why did you base it in NY this time?
I didn’t make a conscious decision to base it in NY. It was just something that naturally occurred. But, I like the fact that I was able to explore another city. It allowed me to tap into another realm of being a novelist, which is being a researcher.

You are very open about your past, how did this book affect you?
The book basically allowed me to vent. It allowed me to put it all out on the table without negatively affecting anyone. At the same time, it gave me the opportunity to shed light on the situations of youth who may be dealing with the issues that are raised in the book. Hopefully it will make people want to open their hearts and their minds to these children and do something to help. At the least, I hope it stops people from judging others without first asking themselves what is that person’s story.

How close does this book relate to your life?
Closely in that it depicts the emotional pain I’ve suffered over the years dealing with my parents’ addictions. It also depicts the lifestyle I lived at points in my life where we lacked food or where we really became desperate to survive.

Why was this book important to you? Did you see a need for this?
It was actually a book I wrote at a much younger age and I always wanted it to get to the masses. I think it began as a book that showed the truth behind addictions based on what I’ve seen and heard growing up, and then it wounded up being a mission statement. The need to get it out of my system was there from the beginning, but the need for the public to gain insight on this epidemic actually derived once the public read it. Basically, I did it for me at first, then it wounded up making people want to reach out and help. So all in all the book is important to me in that it may evoke change.

What issues do you think should be discussed or contemplated after reading this book?
The issues of parenting, mentoring, community involvement and rehabilitation programs for families as oppose to just for the addict. There needs to be resources, outlets, people, and places for youth to go to who find themselves in circumstances like Angel’s.

How do you think this book will help others?
I think it will open people’s hearts. I mean, addiction is seen everyday so people’s eyes are already open to it. But what goes on behind closed doors and how the addiction affects the children are what people don’t get to see out in the open. So this book will show that and thus, I think it will actually cause for people to want to do something for those children who they know are living this way.

You mentioned that people expected you to be like Angel; how did you beat the odds?
I, fortunately, had a strong, supportive, and close-knit family who stepped in when things got to their worst point. In the beginning it was my grandmother who introduced me to the belief in God and who also instilled values and morals in me that I would take with me throughout my life. Then, when she passed away, I had aunts and uncles who were positive influences on me and who showed me life outside of addiction. I think having those lifelines were what saved me.

What advice would you give to girls who may be like Angel?
First and foremost, develop a relationship with God. Believe and have faith even during the worst of times. God will pull you through the darkest of situations if only you believe. Second, I would say seek help from somebody, whether that be a relative, friend, community leader, school official, or religious figure. The fact of the matter is, you can’t survive this situation on your own. That is why Angel wounded up losing the battle. She tried to do it on her own. As a child, you are not equipped to take care of yourself and you shouldn’t have to. Seek help, and when you get it, appreciate it and accept it as if it were the only thing keeping you from experiencing a life of hardship, pain, and misery.

Did you surprise yourself with this novel?
I don’t think it was the novel I surprised myself with. I think it was the responses I’ve gotten from it that were surprising. People are calling this book better than my first two. Even Black Expressions called it my most captivating novel yet. And for it to be just a story that came straight from my heart, I am surprised to see just how powerful it came across. Pleasantly surprised, I might add.

What is some of the feedback that you have gotten on the book?
Aside from what I’ve mentioned above, I’ve been getting great feedback on Mommy’s Angel including a review from a woman in a feminist group where she said, “after completing the novel in one sitting combined with a stunning ending that left me staring, non-blinking at the ceiling, Mommy’s Angel will haunt your conversations and linger in your personal thoughts for days after the last page is turned.” Her review was so heart-felt it made me realize just how hard I hit with this book. I’m just in awe by what people are saying.

None of your books are the same how do you keep your style fresh?
I write because I like to expose people to new things, ideas, lifestyles, etc. So in order to fulfill my pleasures I have to present people with different stories. Otherwise, I’d get bored myself. I think it’s a natural obsession to open people’s eyes and give them something more to think about.

Tell us about the other projects you are working on and people you are working with?
Eight months from now, my new book, Sistah for Sale will hit stores followed by the highly anticipated sequel to my first book, Secret Society three months after that. As you can see, I am very excited about these upcoming novels. As well, I can’t wait for the premier of Secret Society the stage play, which is scheduled for early next year. In addition, I have an anthology with authors Daaimah S. Poole, T. Styles, and Deja King, titled The Diamond Playgirls scheduled to be released early next year, too. I’m starring in a movie called Burners, which is in post-production. And I’m establishing a clothing line called Senza Pari. I am extremely busy, but loving everything I’m doing. And I have a big year ahead of me so please keep a look out for me.

Where will people see you next?
I’m just about finished touring with two more stops, Harlem Book Fair on July 21st and The National Black Arts Festival in Atlanta on July 28th. I will be on a panel in New York on August 2nd among powerful women in the entertainment industry discussing how to succeed in the business. After that, you can catch me at the Black Film Festival in September and The Chicago Book Bazaar in October. Then it’ll be time to tour all over again for my new releases next year. So I’m sure you’ll see me somewhere.

What are the last few words you would like to leave with I-Mag readers?
I want you all to know how thankful I am to have your support. I write because it is my passion, but I am a success because of you. Thank you sincerely.

Heather Elitou-Reviewer